The night was still. The moon was shining brightly through the trees,
illuminating the earth eerily as it cast shadows between the trees. Other than
the sound of the Athabasca River steadily crashing over the rocks, and the
occasional unidentified night critter, the only sound to be heard was the
slight crunching of the gravel beneath my feet.
With "Thomas" in Jasper.
I was walking back to a full tent trailer. In addition to
Jordan, Marley and Evelyn, who have accompanied me thus far, Peyton, my niece,
is nestled cozily between two of her cousins. And, importantly, my bed is
warmed by a very welcomed addition to this road trip: Leia. During my eight-day
sojourn, I rarely mention Leia in the blog. This was not because she had been
forgotten – quite the opposite, in fact. For whatever reason – perhaps to avoid
coming across as too sentimental – I often omitted any mention of Leia in
previous posts. I learned later that while she was at the conference in
Michigan that she felt guilty about not being able to assist me during the journey.
Of course, I find the notion ridiculous, and lament the fact that women are
often unable to find enjoyment in personal time lest the children or, worse,
husband, suffer without them. While the time alone with the kids went better
than could be expected (or hoped!), I am very glad to have Leia back,
especially as the camping part of this trip continues.
Tonight we set up camp in Jasper National Park, undoubtedly
one of my most favourite places on earth. Jordan kept reminding Evelyn that had
she been a boy, which we all thought she would be (so says Jordan!), her name
would have been Jasper. This is true. In fact, Evelyn’s middle name is Jasper.
I remember sitting in the living room of our home on 24th street
with Dan and Sharline, who have joined us in Jasper, trying to come up with
good names for kids. Victoria was mentioned, and I mused that it would be a
good name only insofar as it was one of my favourite places. To that sentiment
I added that I should name a kid Jasper. Alas, a name was born, as I had every
intention to name my next kid Jasper, irrespective of gender.
Not a great picture, but one of the only ones at camp thus far - sitting around enjoying the night!
Just a few weeks before Evelyn was born, Leia and I decided
that if baby #3 was a girl, that we would name her Evelyn. It was the middle
name of Leia’s great aunt, Vera. Vera was instrumental in our lives. Leia moved
in with Vera when her family rejected her, and she remained Leia’s constant
champion. She has been a constant source of support and encouragement, as well
as a tremendous amount of fun. It seemed fitting, for us, to honour Vera by
naming our last child after her. As it happens, it was also fitting, as Evelyn
demonstrates the same tenacity and stubbornness that Vera would readily admit
she possesses.
Being in the mountains always inspires me. Perhaps part of
the reason stems from the Louis L’Amour I read over the years. As a teen, I
loved to read L’Amour’s novels, despite their clichés and predictable outcomes.
I particularly loved the books about the Sacketts. I would imagine myself
riding through the mountains, building a cabin, and raising a family – of
course, I’d also be an ethical gunslinger (for those that have not read
L’Amour’s novels, note that many of his gunslingers are presented as decent and
often reluctant cowboys who are all-too-willing to hang up their holsters in
exchange for the love of a pure and innocent southern belle who despises but
respects the need for six-shooters!). The mountains have always instilled a
sense of strength, pride, and determination.
It is fitting that my thoughts are with Vera tonight. Like
my grandfather, she is about to shuffle off this mortal coil. Unlike my
grandfather, I will mourn. It is perhaps fitting that we are in Jasper tonight.
Surrounded by the mountains, I am reminded of Vera. And I am hopeful that all
of my girls, not only her namesake Evelyn, will resemble their great, great
aunt Vera. At the assisted living facility where Vera was temporarily located
recently, I noticed a sign on one of the doors that read, “Behind her every
strong woman stands herself.” It is a sentiment that I hope my daughters carry
with them. There is nothing they cannot accomplish, and they need nobody – male
or female – to accomplish it! When we talk of aunt Vera in the years to come, I
know that we’ll discuss how strong and independent she was, and her love for
life. She was the source of her accomplishments, but I know she was so proud to
have us stand beside her!
I’m glad to know that Vera has influenced Leia, and that
this influence will be passed on to my girls. I am delighted that Leia doesn’t
need me, that she is independent and capable – and I hope the same for my
girls.
At the same time, I’m glad that Leia felt guilty that she
wasn’t with me on my journey to Edmonton with the girls. It is not that I didn’t
want Leia to enjoy her time in Michigan, but rather that I am lucky that no
amount of independent fun or pleasure is sufficient to keep Leia away. I don’t
think she was feeling guilty as much as she was simply longing to share the
memories of the trip with us. I know that I thought very little about Leia in
terms of having her around to help, but frequently about having Leia around to
enjoy the moments, to share the memories.
Evelyn Jasper, with Auntie Kayla and Lucas in the background.
As I lay here in this tent trailer, typing, surrounded by a
bunch of girls I love to pieces (including you, Peyton!), I think also of Vera.
I’m glad I’ve known you, and I’m glad you are a seminal influence in Leia’s
life. Given that we named baby #3, our Evelyn Jasper, after both you and this
place, and in light of the fact that being here fills me with feelings that
remind me of you, I think I will always associated Jasper National Park with
you. It seems fitting – after all, I love you both immensely.
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