The Kattawagami River - July 2014 - Part I: Days 1-3

Note: I took an iPad on this trip to write my blog, so these entries, aside from minor editorial changes, were written at the end of each day’s paddle. Any comments added after for explanation are italicized. 

Day One:

You cannot hear any traffic here.  No car alarms, no sirens, no jake brakes from the local highway. Or trains. Often you can hear something at a campground. Not here. There is nothing man made for miles. Instead, I hear the chirp of birds, the wind in the trees, and the incessant buzzing of mosquitoes. At one point I looked down and saw hundreds around me.  To avoid them one must wear lots of deet and layers. This is super annoying with the heat, as it is currently quite warm.

Lots of people asked how the bugs were ….. they were like this!

Shane and Tim are starting a fire for dinner. I've retreated from the bugs to my tent, where stripped of layers, I hope to cool down. I'm blogging immediately, as I think it might be helpful to deal with the stress and anxiousness I know I'll feel on this trip.

Yes, trip of a lifetime ... So I must start enjoying that fact, and get away from the negative headspace of regret and fear. I have no doubt that the girls are fine. They are resilient, have their incredibly strong mother and are surrounded by good friends and family.

It is I, surrounded by the buzz, that needs strength.

I know these blog posts will likely read like a therapy session, and some of you will not find that enjoyable. It is how I am viewing them. I can write down how I feel, not that I haven't been sharing with the guys. I'm not afraid about talking through my problems. It is one of my most annoying habits, probably, but Leia has always been willing to talk things through with me. It is incredibly valuable to me that she is willing to be my sounding board.

Driving to Cochrane.

And right now, it is important that I listen to what she has said: get through one day at a time. I'm away for ten days, but I only have to deal with one day at a time. Today is almost over. I need only journey out into the bugs to eat a steak (first few dinners are really quite good, but they go downhill quickly) and then try to sleep.

Dinner # 1 - steak!

Starting the journey in Kattawagami Lake.

The journey started at 5:44 am yesterday morning (Thursday, July 17). Although i had friends over, and was up late, I couldn't sleep in any more. Jordan had made her way into the bed to cuddle up to me in the night, anxious about my departure. I got up and started to get ready. It was an anxious morning for me. Already Leia had had several chats with me about the trip. I seriously considered bailing a whole bunch. I knew it would be a great trip, but I also was worried about my mental health. I also don't like being away, but especially when communication is limited to a Spot device that sends out a preset email. As the day progressed, I felt better and better about leaving. Soon enough, we were on the road.

We stayed in Cochrane at Buck's sister-in-law's place. She was moving back up to Moosonee the next morning, just before our departure. It meant getting up again at 5:45 as things had to be done. It is probably a good thing, as it is now 8:44pm and going to sleep (or to bed at least) is an imminent proposition. Early nights, early mornings, is how this trip will likely unfold.

Some of the rapids were … tame.

As I type, anxiously watching the battery power icon of these iPad, I'm nibbling on trail mix. Tim kindly brought it over to me, reminding me that it is important to not neglect things like blood sugar. As he walks away, he says to me, "Don't forget to talk about the good parts." (note: the trail mix, which we took to calling the Happy Bag, was an important part of this trip - it made regular appearances, and was often greeted with joy!)

First fish - a little pike.

A good part is friends that are not judgmental or impatient. I walked a rapid today already - and we haven't even hit the big water yet. I just was having a rough time controlling the boat, and I am not a super strong white water paddler anyhow. Shane and I did pretty good overall, I think, but we hit a bunch of rocks, and a few times had to rock ourselves off of them (note: when you are stuck against a rock in whitewater, you lean into the rock to prevent the canoe from taking on water and to encourage the canoe to slide off the rock – it often, though not always, works). It has shaken my confidence. Walking the rapid was arguably more dangerous, as it required some hardcore bush whacking. I once lost my foot into a two or three foot deep swampy hole!

Campsite # 1

So far, there have been more rapid than I anticipated. Water levels are, as far as we can tell, on the high side of low. It will require careful scouting and paddling. It might also mean that I will be crashing more bush. I've already decided to not push it with rapids, as a few of the ones that caused Shane and I grief early left my head spinning.

It is hard to know how far we got today. There are no good maps to rely on - at least not that we have found. We'll know more once we hit the upcoming lake. Hopefully it, and its potentially better campsites, will be more than an hour ahead, as our campsite tonight, while good for the conditions we find ourselves in, leaves much to be desired.

Hanging out by the fire, while dinner is being cooked.

..............

Day Two:

Tim told me that the campsite last night was actually pretty decent. Turns out he was right. Admittedly, tonight's site is pretty decent, but it too leaves plenty to be desired. One great thing - for whatever reason the bugs are not as bad.

Upon review, they were bad - see Tim's legs above for proof!

Today was mostly flat water, a few minor rapids and some swifts.  This was a good thing. I am feeling better today. I'm also riding shotgun with Tim, which helps. I think Shane and I did well together, but I don't quite have the knowledge, and certainly not the confidence at this point, to man the ship.

Lounging on the river!

One of the burn areas we passed on day two.

Lining a rapid.

The stress of yesterday must have gotten to me some. Although I fell asleep last night without a problem, probably sometime shortly after ten, I woke up around 12:44 and I couldn't fall back asleep. I listened to the beaver slapping the water - and hoped that it was indeed a beaver - and to the hum of the mosquitoes. I might have drifted off, but I don't think so. Close to two I finally took a half of one the sleeping pills I have left over from Uganda. Recognizing the possibility of being stranded at the rivers end while we await a pick up, I am reluctant to use my newly acquired pharmacological aids. I really hope I can sleep tonight. I also hope the site tomorrow might be more in the shield. A cleansing dip at some point is in order (note: other than getting wet in rapids, no such cleaning ever happened!).

We came to a fork in the river and went right …..
we should have gone left. We spent about an hour and a half paddling the
wrong lake. If it hadn't been windy, we would have fished more. Has to be some big pike in this lake!

Paddling Bayley Lake - the reeds were everywhere, and it was quite beautiful.

We have certainly made 68-70 kms so far, maybe a touch more. Today we cruised through Bayley Lake, and the rivers exit point marked 60 km. Although the lake offered a nice, but small, beach area to camp, with a great breeze, we pressed on, forcing the bug infested cramped quarters we currently inhabit.

Chatting at the beach in front of a remote fly-in cabin that
 belongsto one of Buck's friends - we inspected the cabin
 for him, and used the beach to deliberate.
We pushed on, rather than setting up camp early. 

Tonight's meal was fantastic. Rice, veggies, and maple smokies. For dessert, some freshly caught walleye (caught by Buck!). I've only caught pike so far (seven, but who's counting?), which Buck calls snot rockets. Fishing for specs in next day or two should be lots of fun (note: we never saw even a glimpse of a trout, much to our dismay!). Sadly, number seven pike broke the tip of my rod. Better put: it broke while I was reeling in number seven. Luckily, I have a spare rod for Tim, which I will now claim.

Making dinner #2.

The biggest issue of the trip so far also happened. I noticed this morning that my chest was red. I assumed it was a burn. This annoyed me, as I'm trying to apply sunscreen regularly. In the afternoon I discovered the real culprit. I have been wearing a guardian angel around my neck. Jordan bought it for me when I went to Uganda. It turns out, the gem is missing. I hoped to find it in the tent tonight, but so far haven't. I guess I slept on the posts without the gem, so they dug into my chest all night. I'm a giant sentimental fool, so the loss is unfortunate. I'll wear the angel without the gem during the day. I'm sure Jordan won't care.

Bacon and eggs for first two breakfasts. Mmmmm, campfire bacon!

Bunch more days to go. Time to try to sleep; if needed, help sits close at hand. Now to listen to the incessant buzz.

..............

Day Three:

Discussing a possible line.

I find evenings to be quite warm. The days have been hot, so that's certainly part of it. A bigger part: the sweater and pants and bug net that I have to wear constantly. Right now I'm also sitting close to the fire, as the pickerel Shane and I caught today are fried up for dinner. We both caught two nice pickerel in a short time as Buck and Tim lined the boats down a gnarly shelf.

Shane and I with dinner - the best fish we caught the entire trip!

The outcome!

Today as we sat and had lunch on a rock island, I tried to catch a quick nap. Still couldn't sleep last night. I didn't try to fight it as long, but still waited for a while before relenting and taking a sleeping pill. I guess my lack of speaking - a rare thing indeed - perhaps coupled with my not fishing, left an impression. Eventually Buck asked me how I was doing. More specifically, he asked, "Do you actually regret coming on this trip?"

Me resting during the lunch hour break, just prior to Buck's inquiry into my state of mind!

How we got water at campsite # 3 - we always used the
7l Katadyn filter. Here, Shane and Tim had to be innovative
to hang it.

So far I've been very vocal about my struggles this past year. This shouldn't be shocking for those that know me. I'm pretty open to chat about anything. I had some people thank me for sharing my struggles in Uganda. For me, that is the most natural thing to do. And, when you're paddling for hours, there is lots of time to chat. Right now we are sitting at about 100 km, a significant distance in three days. Tomorrow we will start to slow down as we are heading into the heavy rapids. This river is a beast. Apparently one of northern Ontario's toughest. As far as I can tell, there are roughly 45 marked rapids in the next 45 kms or so (note: only major rapids were marked, meaning there were far more than 45!). If it is an hour per rapid, that at is 45 hours just running short distances, never mind the 49 or so kms of water in between. Needless to say, the next few days will not see the same mileage achieved. It means a longer trip perhaps.

When we sat on that rock at lunch, we sat for an hour or so. That kind of downtime is so great on a trip .... usually. Today, it ate away at me. So when Buck asked me, I inquired whether he wanted the true answer. He did. My response: "Somewhat!"

Today I walked two big rapids - rapids that will likely be dwarfed by the ones coming. I eventually ran a mid sized one, and it truly was a confidence builder. I'm sure the two beautiful pickerel I caught moments before helped to build my confidence. For sure, paddling with Tim today helped to build my confidence. We did a few eddy curls, and ran lots of fun swifts and class Is.

Scouting.

Tim and I running a rapid.

Nevertheless, as I type this, listening to Chet baker on the iPod, I know that I've struggled to sleep the past two nights – even though the days have entailed serious physical exertion. I can't seem to help it. More and more memories of sleepless nights become instances where I now wonder about my mental health. Instead of simply chalking it up to challenges with trying to sleep on my back in a tent (I’m a stomach sleeper), an excuse I've used many a time for sleepless nights camping, I am beging to make more sense of my sleeplessness.

Reading the maps, readying myself for the next day!

Do I regret coming? Right now, no. We had a safe day. We just ate a great meal, finished with screech and a Pilsbury strudel made over the fire. We laughed a lot, and had good conversation. No regrets right now. Tomorrow, hopefully none, but earlier today, yes. I read an article tonight on app on my phone for anxiety, I wish it were not so, but this year I've been struggling with anxiety. Some of the symptoms the article mentions make sense to me. Thankfully, the guys with me are being great about it all. I still need to have a strong day tomorrow, in the face of many rapids!

Campfire strudel!

Our open, flat, breezy campsite.

The sweet, breezy, flat campsite we have tonight helps a great deal, so too might the pharmacological aide I might rely on.  For now, while I'd love to type out more on the iPad, I'm going just going to relax, and get lost with Chet Baker!

Campsite #3.